this is life

Month Four

Dear Cole,

You turned four months old on Sunday, and I cannot believe how the time is flying (except for the part where everyone keeps telling me in a blink of an eye you will be 17). This past month has been challenging. You seemed to be unhappy more often then you were happy. This could in part be due to the increase in your refulx medication, it could also be due to the constant gas bubble you seem to have in your little belly, whatever the case, I feel like you cried all month. I also know this is an exaggeration, as there have been some big developments in the way you look at the world. These could not have happened if you had just cried all the time.


You are quite the observer. You love to stand on your little feet and look all around at the whole world. You like to be held facing out (when you're awake) so you can see what is going on around you. You have started to enjoy the outdoors, probably because of the great weather we've been having. And in all honesty the last week with you has been a wonderful change. You smile ALL the time, at anyone who will make faces at you or stick out their tongue at you. I say at anyone, however, we have learned that you prefer to be around the people you know, and do NOT like large crowds of women. Your Nana and I have had you over at the barn a few times when she's had her shop open and you are OK when there are a few people there, but if it gets too noisy you want nothing to do with it. I think you are saying "GET ME OUT OF HERE!" (yes in all caps).


This past month your dad had to be away for 10 days and that was rough for all of us. He was in CT with your Grandpa and your Great Gramma. She isn't doing so well and we fear you will not get to meet her in this lifetime. I think that was hard for all of us to realize, but we know she loved you just the same and we also know she will be looking out for you from her heaven.


While Daddy was away we stayed with your Nana and I think she really enjoyed having you there. There was a ton of play time with her, and you seemed to sleep really well. You also got to spend lots of time with your Grampy. I think you like him the best (besides your dad and I of course). You always have BIG grins for him and he can almost make you belly laugh. You are days away from that and we are so excited.


Another think I think you are going to do soon is roll over from your back to your front. You can already roll from front to back (I don't think you like being on your tummy), but you've started to try to look around all sides of you, and the next logical step is going to be rolling over.
I cannot believe how quickly you have gone from a very very sleepy baby to one who needs constant attention, and likes to be entertained. You still will not go to sleep unless someone bounces and shushes you, but we know the time will come when you want nothing to do with us, so we are enjoying all of the ups and downs with you, knowing full well that a new day will bring a new challenge and a new reward.


Cole, you are the light of my life and I love waking up each day and getting you from your bed, to see the beautiful grin you put on (for a short minute, until you remember how hungry you are), to see how much you are growing up in front of my very eyes. This journey is so exciting and I can't wait to share it with you for the rest of our lives.

Love Momma

03-30-10

Happy Birthday Stephen! It's your 31st birthday today. I hope this year brings you all your wishes and dreams. I am so happy to be in your life and to be able to share all the ups and downs with you. I am so lucky you chose me to join you on this journey. And we are so lucky to have the most amazing baby to share as well. We love you! xo

Month Three

Dear Cole,
SLOW DOWN little man! You are three months old now, and I can't stand it. You are turning into quite the little person, we love watching you grow, but you're doing it too fast.
You have finally started smiling at us about a week after you turned two months old. It is so delightful to play with you when you are in your smiling mood. We put you on the floor and you stare up at us and just grin to your little hearts content. I love watching you. We smile at you and you smile back, I can't wait until those smiles turn into belly laughs. It is fun to watch how determined you are, we thought for a while you were interested in getting your thumb in your mouth, but it seems you are happy just chewing on your whole fist. You tend to do this when we put you on your tummy and you are tired. Quite a site, and I must say I'm a little relieved you didn't take your thumb, we would never have been able to take it away from you. However, some days I do wish you would take a soother, just so you would have something to help you fall asleep, but you are starting to do that really well on your own. Sometimes while lying on the floor getting your daily exercise you will start to slow your movements and you make a few little noises and then BANG! you're asleep. That is wonderful, we will keep working on this, so we know we will have less trouble with you getting to sleep on your own. Even when we have to "put" you to sleep you are getting better at that. It takes less and less time to get you settled, and rarely do we put you down and you wake up to start again. You are such a great little sleeper, we could not have asked for better. You almost always go down by 10:30pm and usually sleep until 3:30 or 4:00am. This is the best sleeping time for all of us and when you wake to nurse you fall back to sleep for another 3 or 4 hours. Thank you for making that part of life so easy, I love our time in those wee hours of the morning, it is so quiet and peaceful, you are so quiet and peaceful.
The day time is something else all together. Don't get me wrong, you sleep in the daytime but the whole routine is different. You wake, you eat, you play and usually you go back to sleep. But if your playtime has lasted more then two hours you are ready to eat again! I know you are getting TONS of exercise when you have your playtime, you lay on your back and you kick your legs and swim with your arms and you are go! go! go! so I know it makes you work up an appetite, but man oh man, if you are ready to eat and momma isn't ready to feed you, you go INSANE! You have got a set of pipes to rival your Auntie Brae! When you want to eat and you want to eat NOW! you want to eat NOW! I can't imagine where this stubborn gene comes from, but oh boy have I got my work cut out for me.
I must tell you Cole, this last month you have been changing in the best ways. Your medication for your reflux is working wonders. If you are fussy in the late evening, your dad will usually ask me if I have given it to you, and almost always I have forgotten. But when you are on schedule and we don't forget, you have turned into the most amazing little boy. You are HAPPY! I was so worried last month when you were upset A LOT, and we didn't know what to do for you. Now, well you are content and comfortable, and it is wonderful to see you hanging out and enjoying life with not a worry in the world. As it should be for a three month old beautiful baby boy!
Your daddy and I love you so much, I cannot wait to see what the next few months bring as you start to see the world through those big dark eyes of yours!

Love Momma

BLW

Baby-led-weaning. Ever hear of it?
I just read about it in Canadain Family I am fascinated by it. As a new mom I am constantly trying to find out the best practices for us as a family. I have spoken before about my use of cloth diapers (a decision that is working well for us so far), I am also trying to breastfeed for as long as my body and baby will allow. This BLW seems to make so much sense to me. Let them learn by practicing. Don't force it upon them. Make eating fun.
Is this something you ever tried with your family? If you had heard about it before giving your baby solids would have given it a try?
More research is needed on this subject, but I am intrigued. I want to know more!

Month Two

Dear Cole,
Last week you turned two months old. Wow! Time is flying by. The last few weeks have become more challenging with you, as you have decided you're not quite happy with breast milk and your little baby tummy is upset quite often. This is starting to become a concern for your mom and dad as we aren't sure what to do to make you feel better. The good news is we are going to see your doctor next week and are hoping she can help us out, so you can feel better.

On a brighter note, two nights before you turned 6 weeks old, you slept for 5 hours. It was so wonderful, and so far you have been doing this on a fairly regular basis. Now if we can only change the timing of that long sleep to make it from 9pm - 2pm your momma would be a little less grumpy.

You have been gaining weight steadily and are over 10lbs, which I cannot believe. We have had to make the switch in your clothes to the 3-6months. (When we brought you home at less then 6lbs I did not think we would ever get to this point, especially not before you turned 3 months old. It is wonderful that you are growing so well, but SLOW down would you, it's hard to see you getting so big.

We are still waiting to see if your eyes are going to change colour, they have stayed a beautiful dark grey since you joined us in this world, but we don't know if they will change or not. I do love the colour so much I hope they remain, but this is not for me to decide and will take whatever we get. I doubt you will be any less beautiful if they do change.
So much has happened since you were born and we are so fortunate to have you here. I can't wait to share with you the changes of the next month. Yey for us!

Love Momma

GroBaby

The decision to go with cloth diapers was a no brainer for me. I have been trying to do little bits to help save this planet that my children will grow up in. I have two friends that have done it and they highly recommended it to me. The choice of what type of diapers to buy was a little trickier.
I checked around and on different sites that sell cloth and when I came across the GroBaby diapers I was SOLD. I checked out some reviews and decided these were the diapers for me. One size fits all, snap in soaker pad, no need to wash the cover every time, these seemed so easy even my husband would be able to use them.
I received two of these diapers as gifts from my two friends who have done the cloth thing in the past, and even they were sold on them. I purchased a few for myself and will need a few more before we have enough to go all out, but so far SO GOOD! These cloth diapers ROCK. The extra soaker pads are a little big and hang out at the top of the diaper on my little guy right now, but he doesn't get wet enough that it is causing any problems. I figure when we move up to the next size it might make a difference (hopefully by then he will be sleeping through the night when he will be a little more wet by change time) but for now they are working out great.
While Cole is still so small, and we only have 10 diapers total we are using some pre-folds that my sweet friend lent to me. They are working out well and I try to use those in the day time because the GroBaby are so nice at night when I don't have to think about changing him. If you are thinking about going cloth or know someone who is, I would highly recommend this product to you or to anyone. I am thrilled with the system.

Month One

Dear Cole,
Yesterday Four days ago, you turned one month old. I can not believe how quickly time has passed. This last month has been the craziest month of my entire life. I could never have imagined how life could change. You came early, so early in fact we thought you might be here before Christmas. Instead you held on and became our very special Christmas gift.
Before you came there was so much speculation about who you would be. Your Uncle Grampie (my Uncle Andy) is a grand predictor of a baby's sex, he had predicted 52 babies and he had only been wrong 3 times. When I was seven months pregnant he made the prediction for you. Much to your Nana's delight he predicted you would be a girl. I so hoped he would be wrong this one time. When you were born on Christmas Night, and the Dr said "... blah blah blah, HE..." I thought I must be hearing her wrong. Then she said the words that were music to my ears "It's a Boy". I was so thrilled, I received MY Christmas wish.
The stay in the hospital seemed so long, as we had been there for 3 days before you actually came, but we were only kept in for five days which is pretty standard for a c-section delivery. In the hospital you were a perfect angel. The first night you didn't room with us, because you were technically premature, the doctors had some issues with your breathing and so they put a little iv in your arm and kept you monitored over night. The next few days are somewhat of a blur of nursing, sleeping, pooping, sleeping, eating, visiting and did I mention sleeping.
Speaking of nursing, you were a natural from the first time I put you to my breast. This was the most awesome relief, as I had heard so many women have a hard time with it. There was no question my baby was going to have enough to eat. You woke every 3 hours and fed for about an hour at a time and then back to sleep you went. We kept a feeding chart for you, and you were doing all of the right things, eating when you were supposed to and pooping all of the right colours: Black, Green & Yellow. Speaking of Yellow, sometime during your short time in this world, you had gotten a little jaundice. This was frustrating for us because other then the colour yellow you were doing everything right. Your numbers stayed at a borderline level for the whole time we were in the hospital and eventually you had to go under the lights. You spent one night on the Billibed and that was a feat of its own.
The Billibed is a light table, with UV light that you had to lie on with as much of your skin exposed as possible. Oh boy did you HATE it! You had been bundled up so tightly from the time you were born, and the only exposure you had was when I was feeding you and at that time you were skin to skin with me, so you were so warm. That bed was hard for you, your Nana was the one to finally figure out how to get you on there and then to sleep. She is so smart that she realized you wanted to sleep on your side, so she rolled you over and covered you with as many blankets as she could, and then rubbed your back until you were fast asleep. Thank heavens your levels came down the next day and you didn't have to sleep on that bed anymore.
We were finally released from the hospital on Dec 30th and it was so wonderful to get you home. Waiting for us under the Christmas Tree was the most beautiful cradle for you to sleep in, that your Grandpa made for you. Your Nana came over and set up your change table with all of the wonderful gifts that we had been given, not to mention some things that were lent to us for you to use until you grow out of them. That first night in our own house I think I woke everytime you moved. You woke on cue and fed on cue. On the 31st we made our first outing and had Christmas dinner and opened gifts with Nana and Grampie. Uncle Alex and Uncle Scott were there, as well as Sean, Ria and Rhys. What a great way to relax into our new lives with you.
The two days after we were out of the hospital we had to take you back for more blood work, the doctor wanted to make sure your levels were still coming down. Packing you up and taking you back to the hospital was quite a trip and even though it was good practice for us, I would have much rather stayed cozy at home. We did however want to make sure you were OK so we packed you up and took you in. It was almost as though we had never left. However after that things started to settle into a routine and we only had to make a couple more trips back to the hospital.
The last few weeks with you at home have been such a change for us. The days and nights seem to blend together as you need to eat every 3 hours, and so at first I tried to sleep when you were sleeping, however it was hard to do that during the day when I knew there was so much to be done at home. However I am learning to let those little things (like dishes and cleaning and laundry) go. I try to remind myself to enjoy this time with you, you are so tiny and every day you get a little bigger and do a little more and stay awake a little longer. I know this won't last forever and so I try to relax and just hold you and look at you.
On your 4 week birthday I finally made the switch from disposable diapers to cloth and so far that is going well for both of us. You don't mind feeling a little more wet when you are wearing them and I don't mind having to do a little more laundry. Your dad likes it because I don't ask him to change you anymore. I figure I will get good and comfortable doing the diapers and then I will try to teach him. However, he got squimish touching the disposable diapers when they were all folded up, so we'll see if we can work on the cloth with him.
Some other things I want to note are the colour of your eyes. We figured since both of us have brown eyes you would too, however, it is looking more and more like your eyes are going to be grey or blue. Right now they are a beautiful colour of grey and I would love it if they stayed that colour. They still may change, I don't know how long that takes, but if they do I'm sure they will be more beautiful then they are now. Also you are still a little yellow, some days you look more yellow then others, the corner of your eyes are yellow, and your little nose is yellow. We've had you tested yet again to make sure all is well and so far they tell us you are fine and the yellow will go away eventually.
You are also one of the most beautiful babies, there is no question we got lucky with you. The day you were born you were beautiful and that doesn't happen with all babies. You have a perfectly round face, a great shaped head and a great complexion. There is something about your look, I can't believe how lucky we are that you are so beautiful.

So far we have had lots of visitors and they are all struck by you. You are so well behaved (most of the time) and you love to snuggle. You make the most wonderful noises when you sleep and when you're awake. You seem to have decided that you like to be fussy in the evenings and we aren't sure yet how to calm you. You like to suck on my finger but aren't sold on the soother yet, and maybe you will suck your thumb but you haven't been able to find it yet. We're working on that because I won't always be around when you need to suck, so it would be great if you found your thumb or started to take the soother. You don't like your bouncy seat that vibrates and sings to you, but you do like to lay on the floor and take it all in. At Nana's house you do love the bassinet that sits in your pack n' play. You also really like to sleep in your cradle at home and the cradle that belonged to your Great Grampie Leonard. You LOVE the bath, the first few times we put you in you just slept, but these days you are wide awake and happy to lounge.
These days your Nana likes us to visit everyday but that doesn't always happen, she will stop in just to hold you for 10 mins if that's all she has time for, and she will not let me change you or burp you when she's around. Your Grandma and Grandpa have just had their first real visit with you and you have loved every minute of that. You fall asleep in their arms and behave the way any good grandson should.
This time with you has been the most amazing month of my life and I can't believe that you are really here and that things have been going so well. I mind the sleepless nights a little, but usually get a nap in the next day if you have been up in the night. Your dad has been the most amazing man one could hope for through all of this. He gets up with you when I can't settle you at night, he takes you when he wants a snuggle. He cleans up after us and takes care of us in ways I could only have hoped for. We are so blessed to have him around, he loves us as much as we love him.
I am so looking forward to our lives together, thank you for choosing us!

Love Moma

(The idea of a monthly letter has been taken from dooce | a blog I love to visit and loved the idea of writing monthly to my new baby, Thank you Heather!)

Visitors

So far Cole has had a few visitors and they have all been fascinated with him. How lucky we have been. We don't have pictures of everyone, but we'll try to do better in the future.
Melissa and Lily came to visit us, how great it was to have them over. Lily was very excited to hold this boy.

Correen came to visit us next and in the excitement of her visit, I did forget to get a photo, but she'll be back and we'll take some next time :)
Then Coles' cousins came to visit him, and boy they wanted to hold him every five mins.

Ryan loved holding his baby cousin. I think he must have asked every two mins, Katie didn't get much of a chance for Ryan wanting a turn.
And how cute is Rebekah, holding him. She was so funny the first time, it was a good thing Katie was holding him for real, because when she was finished she just pushed him away. It wasn't that long ago that she was this little.

Cole can't wait for more visits with everyone who love him. So give a call, and stop by. He'd love to see you!

Sweet

Yes, life is sweet. My sweet boy was awake for two whole hours he was wide eyed and bushy tailed, only problem with that was that it was from 10:30pm - midnight. WHAT is up with that? I know he is still learning, but seriously? Oh well, we will fix that eventually. He is having a sleep right now, and will soon be ready to eat again, and then I'm sure he will sleep some more. Perhaps this afternoon I will have a sleep too. It's so hard to do that, when there is so much to do at home:
- dishes
- laundry
- Christmas to put away
- baby gifts to put away
- piles in the dining room
- piles in the living room
- piles in the baby's room
- piles in my bedroom
We'll get there, one pile at a time!

"Cole" for Christmas

Dec 23rd | 2:20am | 2009: My water breaks, I wake up my husband and phone my mother. "What do I do?" Go to the hospital my mother says, so we go.
Dec 23rd | 3:00am | 2009: The lovely nurse on staff asks me to soak a pad, so they can make sure it is my water that broke, and not just incontinence.
Dec 23rd | 4:00am | 2009: Yes it is your water that broke, we will induce you later in the morning. Please get some rest in the obstetrics ward and we will come retrieve you when we can induce you.
Dec 23rd | Random times | 2009: I am hooked up to the fetal monitor for 20 min intervals to make sure all is well with the baby, my blood pressure is checked as well as my temp. All seems fine with the world and this baby is not interested in joining us quite yet. Also labour and delivery is too busy to fit me in, as they will need a nurse and a room designated to me alone as no one knows how the induction will go. We stay in the room we are in for one more night, they will induce me tomorrow. Dec 24th | 10am | 2009: They are finally ready for me, I get to have a lovely IV inserted into my arm. This is what will administer the petocin into my system for the next 6 hours or so. This is what is going to put me into labour, cause my contractions to start and get this baby going.
Dec 24th | Random times | 2009: Unhooked from the fetal monitor, walk the halls, get some lunch, walk some more. "How are you feeling?" was a constant question, "fine, no change" was the answer almost all of the time. I felt a few contractions, but for the most part I was just waiting. Had to keep my energy up so they fed me lots of yummy snacks.Dec 24th | 5 or 6pm | 2009: No change, it is decided that I will have prostin gel applied to my cervix to soften it for the next induction.
Dec 25th | 9am | 2009: No change to my cervix, so the prostin gel is applied for the second time. We must wait the mandatory 6 hours to see if there will be any change at that time.
Dec 25th | 5pm | 2009: Still no change to my cervix, we will try the petocin again, perhaps the cervix is softened enough to get this labour going.
Dec 25th | 6pm | 2009: Hooked up to the petocin again, we'll try one more time. Dec 25th | 8:30pm | 2009: Contractions started and were moving along smoothly, breathing through them was good, I had my husband and my mother there to hold my hand, and encourage me along. One contraction started and lasted for too long for me to breath through it. They lost the fetal heart rate. They plugged the baby into a new monitor which was inserted into the top of his head through the cervix. At that point the nurse had stated that I was maybe 2cm dialated with contractions coming strong and steady, they had shut off the petocin, and called the dr. All of the nurses available were on hand in the delivery room. I was scared, my husband was scared and my mom could have been as well, but she held it together for us.
Dec 25th | 9:00pm | 2009: Dr Nette said she would like to turn the petocin back on and see if we were going to progress any further, I said "No, I don't think I have the energy to give birth to this baby, this way."
Dec 25th | 9:30pm | 2009: The OR was called in (I felt bad, because it was Christmas night), and they took us in for a c-section. Dec 25th | 10:10pm | 2009: Our son Stephen "Cole" Chehy was brought into this world, in "not the natural way". He truly was the best Christmas gift we could have asked for. I think I got the best gift as everyone had me convinced our baby was going to be a girl, and what joy when Dr Nette said "it's a boy". The water works started and what excitement. Here is our beautiful boy, moments after dad took him down to meet his Nana and to wait for mommy to come out of the recovery room. What a bundle of joy to bring into the world on Christmas day!